Momma. Nutritionist. Master Instructor. Sleep Coach. ️Ambassador.
I met this inspiring powerhouse of a mama, Bridgette Clare, at a recent Our Anak Motherhood Retreat, and I’m beyond thrilled I did. She’s amazing, funny, kind, inspiring, motivating, strong + so much more, all at the same time. Please enjoy meeting her below + feel free to reach out to her about anything at all. She is not only kind, but a wealth of information + experience. Enjoy! Xx
How many kids do you have, and how old?
2; Sade is 16 months and Jabari is 7 weeks
What does your journey to motherhood look like + What are some challenges you've faced?
How far back do you want me to go? When I was a teenager I would get such bad periods that I begged BEGGED to have a hysterectomy, convinced I wouldn’t need to be pregnant, ever. Not that I didn’t want to be a momma necessarily, but that I didn’t need to be pregnant.
That didn’t happen, because, well...not really an elective surgery a 16 year old can decide on. Between then and my 30s I didn’t really think about it. It wasn’t until my 30s and after big conversation with my now husband that I fully knew I wanted to be a momma.
In 2015 we started “trying” to become biological parents. Feet up on the wall, no birth control, trying. Trying also included IUI and IVF treatments, which didn’t result in a pregnancy.
I want to be super clear that while this reads like a timeline, that’s simply for context. The path to motherhood is rarely linear and we didn’t choose adoption because we couldn’t have “our own children”. We chose adoption as a way to create our family.
In 2016 we met with our adoption agency, Sunrise. And in 2017 we were matched with Sade’s birth mom, Jas, who had decided to place her unborn baby for adoption. In Sept 2017 we became a part of Jas’ adoption plan and in Mar 2018 Sade was born into this world. In 2018, we had the privilege and honor of Jas asking us to be a part of her adoption plan for Jabari, who was born May 2019.
I want to be super clear that while this reads like a timeline, that’s simply for context. The path to motherhood is rarely linear and we didn’t choose adoption because we couldn’t have “our own children”. We chose adoption as a way to create our family. We chose love of an extended family, which includes babies and birth family. It’s an option, not a last resort. And we’re tremendously blessed to be the family we are.
Sidenote: if you’re reading this and curious about adoption language, please check out Macie at https://www.adoptwell.com/
What are some survival tips you've learned along the way
Ask for help. BUT be clear on what you want help with and ask for exactly that. If you want help with the dishes, don’t ask for help mopping the floor. And if you ask for help, let people do it their way. Just because it’s not done your way, don’t mean it isn’t right (*nods as she writes this, right.... good reminder) .
Any advice for parents, or people wanting to be parents
Oh man, if you want to be a parent, you will be. The path to get there may not look how you thought it would. How or when you become a parent may not look how you thought, but if you see it, it’s meant for you.
What does support look like to you / how did support show up for you along the way
People asking how they can help and legit doing that thing (see above). People want to help you. Even if that means doing the dishes.
How are you writing your own rules of “motherhood”
TBH had to google the definition of “motherhood” (FYI it's defined as the experience of raising a child).
So here goes, the rule I follow is put that baby to bed. I’m a “sorry I can’t, that’s during nap time” kinda momma. And a “I’d LOVE to see you, want to come over between 4-630 so you can see Sade before she goes to bed?” kinda woman.
What are some daily rituals for you, just for you
I would love to say I meditate and journal, which I do every now and again and know that doing that more will revolutionize my life (*nods again, like, yes, just do it) but in reality I have a coffee in the AM and am very committed to my evening skin care routine (shout out Colette at Clarite http://www.claritewellness.com/).