Wellness and Spiritual Writer, Educator, Speaker and Mother.

We all have different experiences + journeys to motherhood, no two are the same and we’re here to share them in building this community. Sit back, have a read, enjoy + please feel free to give us a shout if you’d like to share your journey. We’d love to hear from you!

Meet Taraneh, mother to two, and creater/owner of Mind on Spirit, who’s purpose is to cultivate, educate and inspire others on the path to spiritual health - the wellbeing of our souls in congruence with the energy of the natural world.

Photo by https://www.papercranecreative.com/

Photo by https://www.papercranecreative.com/

How would you describe the new + unexpected life with a newborn
Looking back to the first months - or who am I kidding, years - following the birth of my first child, I am proud of how I managed to survive amidst the competing physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual needs in my life. There were many new experiences to hold, new boundaries to be made, new connections to discover, new desires to unearth. I was experiencing postpartum depression and anxiety, and I found self-care challenging, particularly as it was defined by people in my life who were unhelpfully telling me, “You know what you need? You need some self-care. You just need to take a bath, go get a pedicure, go on a date… you know, take some me time”.

Pregnancy

I am proud of how I managed to survive amidst the competing physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual needs in my life.

Self Care is Defined Differently For Everyone
What these well-intentioned people missed was that they were making suggestions about self-care that suited them and their particular worldview/perspective, without knowing or even inquiring about the wider context of my life and my needs. They were projecting before understanding.

I didn’t need a bath. The idea of my over-sensitized body being touched by all that water was excruciatingly painful. The “warm and calming” sensations would inevitably mean my milk would come in, and I would be overflowing and in immense physical pain, again.

I didn’t need a pedicure. I couldn’t care less about what my feet looked like. That was not high on my values list. I cared about whether I had eaten that day. Whether I could operate on the few hours of sleep I had. Whether I could count on my people for help without the shroud of guilt or judgment. The colour of my toenails was the least of my concerns.

I didn’t need to go on a date with my husband. I needed us to go to couples counselling. I needed to know that we were still in it together. That the image of the life we had built together was not going to shatter under the heavy weight of new responsibilities, divisions of labour, lifestyle and so much more.

Mother

What these well-intentioned people missed was that they were making suggestions about self-care that suited them and their particular worldview/perspective, without knowing or even inquiring about the wider context of my life and my needs.

Self Care On My Own Terms
Here is what self-care looked like for me, in my first few years of motherhood:

  • Long walks with my babe in the stroller. The fresh air, feel of the earth below my feet, the magnificence and beauty of the natural world around me, and the deep blessing of being with my daughter were immensely nourishing.

  • Making meal time my social time. It ensured that I stayed connected to a community I chose who I could be real with, cutting down on surface-mama-talk which I found so draining and unhelpful. It also ensured that I ate one big, great meal, per day at minimum.

  • Going to couples therapy with my husband, saying and hearing things that were veiled in fear and bringing them into the light of awareness and love. Healing together. Committing together.

Mother + Daughter

Here is what self-care looked like for me

Long walks with my babe in the stroller. The fresh air, feel of the earth below my feet, the magnificence and beauty of the natural world around me, and the deep blessing of being with my daughter were immensely nourishing.

Here is the thing about self-care: it looks, sounds, feels, and is experienced differently for each and every one of us.
There is no blanket statement that can apply to all mothers when it comes to taking care of our complex range of physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual needs. Rarely, however, do many of us find or take the time to reflect on what these needs are, let alone actualize meeting these needs.

As you can see, I didn’t need me time the way it was commonly defined by others. I needed us time: A time to feel connected to Mother Nature, to community, and to my partner. This to me was true self-care in my early years as a mother. Now, at five years into the journey of motherhood, with the joy of two magical little ones in my life, my self-care practices look different once more. These days, I love some alone time to write, read, practice yoga, meditate, I also cherish time with select individuals with whom I am in conscious relationships with.

These days, I take the time to bow down to the wisdom of my children, and honour my places of knowing and unknowing. I cultivate curiosity and connection in all areas of my life, including in the realm of being a mother, a partners, a daughter, a sister, a friend. I hold compassionate, non-judgmental space for mothers I know who are each walking their own unique paths of motherhood, with their own, unique wants, needs, desires, self-care routines. After all, we can all benefit from the space to remember that we are whole and complete without a constant need for validation, that if we listen deeply enough to ourselves, we know what we need. We can enjoy taking time for ourselves to remember that we are worthy of our own attention and desires-fulfilled, that we can have a unique path to health and wellbeing, and that deep down, we embody the knowledge that we too, matter.

 
Meet Taraneh + learn more about what she does over on Mind On Spirit.
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